In order to come after Jesus we have to deny ourselves and take up our cross DAILY and follow him. Not my words. Those are Jesus' words as told by Luke. This scripture is one of the most difficult scriptures I've read. On first read it seems to be the worst recruitment I've ever seen. When I think of asking someone to be like me, I wouldn't think to ask them to forget who they are. But this is Jesus' first request. His second request seems to be an even crazier. Take up a cross. Take up a crude torture device and live with it on your back. Live as if you are willing to die for the one you are walking after at a moments notice.
This is such a pressurized moment. In reading this Jesus asked his disciples to forget themselves and be willing to suffer and die for the one who told them to forget. This is Jesus' persuasion.
And it is this persuasion that has caused a history of disciples to deny themselves and be willing to die for Him. What?
This is a reality that we almost have no way to connect to. It is partially because if we began to let our parents, pastors, friends, mentors, and family know that we are willing to die for God's call on our life to the campus, office, classroom or whatever place we feel called, we would possibly be admitted. To die for Jesus is not the "in" thing anymore. But reality is that, among Christians, it never really was the in thing. It was what came with carrying a cross. To the early church Peter wrote:
Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people.
To this community enduring persecution, this would have been hard words to live out. But this is not the full view of Paul's heart. In Acts 4, Peter and John are advised by the rulers, elders and scribes to discontinue teaching in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered them,“Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.”
In this case Peter himself denies the religious institution and this causes the rulers, elders, and scribes to look for a way to punish them(even though they couldn't). But there are those who are our ancient predecessors, our spiritual heroes and family, who died because of these kinds of stances. They were persecuted not because they were looking for it, but because they carried a cross on their backs and there were those willing to kill them for it. This is complete self denial; a willingness to take on the burdens, abuse, misunderstanding and suffering that come not because of who they have denied themselves in order to gain Jesus. We can imitate this, whether here in America or in a hostile country.
And if we do, we enter into space where walking on water and calming storms are part of the deal. It is in this space, where we totally deny our hopes, dreams, aspirations and loves, and allow God to give us his hopes, dreams, aspirations and love for us. And when he does this, we find that we were made to serve. We were made to be fully submitted to the needs of others. We find that who we were made to be is eternally intertwined with a historic community of believers and a special group of people Jesus calls us to serve. It is here that we find ourselves and we don't even care as much about finding ourselves as we do for those we are called to. This is the persuasion of Jesus. Joy in knowing who you are while being overwhelmed by how He uses your "broken self" to love those around you. And this can only be found in Him. And when we submit to that truth, we begin to understand that Jesus was right when he said that "there are some who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God" and, while on this earth, we enter this kingdom with a crosses on our back.
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